1. Name the experience.
Say to yourself: โI am having a flashback.โ
Flashbacks take you into a timeless part of the psyche that feels as helpless, hopeless, and endangered as childhood once felt.
2. Orient to the present.
Remind yourself: โI feel afraid, but I am not in danger. I am safe now, here in the present.โ
The feelings and sensations you are experiencing are past memories. They cannot hurt you now.
3. Reclaim present safety.
Remind yourself that you are now in the safety of the present, far from the danger of the past.
4. Affirm boundaries.
Own your right and need to have boundaries.
You do not have to allow anyone to mistreat you. You are free to leave dangerous situations and protest unfair behaviour.
5. Speak to the part of you that went through past trauma.
Reassure the vulnerable part of you with warmth and protection.
Let the part know that you love them unconditionally and that they can come to you for comfort and safety when they feel lost or scared.
6. Deconstruct โeternity thinking.โ
In childhood, fear and abandonment felt endless, and a safer future was unimaginable.
Remind yourself that this flashback will pass, as it always has before.
7. Remember your adult resources.
You are in an adult body with allies, skills, and resources that you did not have as a child.
Feeling small or fragile is a sign of a flashback, not a reflection of your current capacities.
8. Ease back into your body.
Fear pulls attention into anxious thinking or numbing. Gently return to bodily presence.
- Gently ask your body to relax. Notice major muscle groups and invite them to soften. Tight muscles send false danger signals to the brain.
- Breathe deeply and slowly. Holding your breath signals danger.
- Slow down. Rushing activates the brainโs flight response.
- Find a safe place to soothe yourself. Wrap up in a blanket, hold a pillow or stuffed animal, lie down in bed, a closet, or a bath, or take a nap.
- Feel the fear in your body without reacting to it. Fear is energy. It cannot hurt you if you do not flee from it.
9. Resist the Inner Criticโs catastrophizing.
Use thought-stopping to interrupt exaggerated danger predictions and compulsive planning.
Refuse to shame, hate, or abandon yourself.
Redirect the energy of self-attack into a firm โnoโ to unfair self-criticism.
Use thought substitution and correction by replacing negative thoughts with a memorized list of your qualities and accomplishments.
10. Allow grieving.
Flashbacks are opportunities to release old, unexpressed fear, hurt, and abandonment.
Validate and soothe the childโs experience of helplessness and hopelessness.
Healthy grieving transforms tears into self-compassion and anger into self-protection.
11. Cultivate safe relationships and seek support.
Take time alone when needed, but do not let shame isolate you.
Feeling shame does not mean you are shameful.
Educate trusted people about flashbacks and ask for help talking and feeling your way through them.
12. Identify triggers and patterns.
Learn what situations, people, places, activities, or mental processes trigger flashbacks.
Avoid unsafe contexts when possible.
When unavoidable, practice preventive use of these steps.
13. Be patient with recovery.
Flashbacks point toward wounds from past abuse and abandonment, as well as unmet developmental needs.
Recovery takes time. De-adrenalization happens gradually, and reduction in intensity, duration, and frequency unfolds slowly.
Healing is a progressive process, often two steps forward and one step back, not a sudden cure.
Do not attack yourself for having a flashback.
References
Walker, P. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A Guide and Map for Recovering from Childhood Trauma (pp. 332โ335). Kindle Edition.
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