Section 1: Understanding Vigilance and Agency
- Vigilance: In psychological terms, vigilance refers to a heightened state of alertness or watchfulness. For individuals with a history of trauma or significant loss, vigilance can manifest as persistent indecision or โfreezing.โ This indecision/frozen state often functions as a defense mechanism: by remaining uncertain or ambivalent, the mind attempts to avoid re-experiencing adverse life events like loss, judgment, disconnection, conflict, disappointment, etc. While this can temporarily protect you from distress, it may also prevent you from making meaningful choices or pursuing fulfillment.
- Agency: Agency is the capacity to make choices and act intentionally, based on your own values and needs. Exercising agency means recognizing your ability to influence your life, relationships, and career direction. Agency is not about always knowing the โrightโ answerโit is about engaging actively with decisions, even when outcomes are uncertain or emotionally charged.
Section 2: Recognizing Vigilance vs. Agency in Your Life
- Vigilance/Indecision as Defense:
- Experiencing a โfreezeโ responseโdifficulty acting or expressing yourself when overwhelmed.
- Feeling โstuckโ or unable to make decisions, especially in situations involving relationships or career.
- Avoiding emotional risks, such as expressing needs or desires, for fear of disappointment or conflict.
- Maintaining a holding pattern, where you neither move forward nor let go, to avoid confronting the possibility of loss.
- Signs of Agency:
- Taking steps to clarify your own values, needs, and goalsโeven if they differ from othersโ expectations.
- Making decisions based on what feels authentic or meaningful to you, rather than avoiding discomfort.
- Accepting that uncertainty and emotional risk are part of meaningful change.
- Expressing your thoughts and feelings, even when they might lead to conflict or disappointment.
Section 3: Implementing Strategies to Increase Agency
- Clarifying Values and Goals:
- Clarify what matters most to you in relationships, career, and personal fulfillment.
- Compare your current choices or patterns with your stated values. Where are you acting out of vigilance, and where are you exercising agency?
- Self-Reflection Exercises:
- Journaling about situations where you feel indecisive or โfrozen.โ Identify the emotions, fears, or memories that might be influencing your hesitation.
- Ask yourself: โWhat am I afraid might happen if I make a choice?โ and โWhat would I choose if I trusted myself to handle the outcome?โ
- Taking Small Steps:
- Start with low-risk decisions: practice making choices in everyday situations, such as what to eat or how to spend your free time, based on your preferences.
- Gradually apply this practice to more significant decisions, such as relationship boundaries or career moves.
- Managing Emotional Discomfort:
- Notice when anxiety, fear, or sadness arise in response to making decisions. Remind yourself that these feelings are normal and do not need to dictate your actions.
- Use grounding techniques (deep breathing, mindfulness, body awareness) to tolerate discomfort and stay connected to your intentions.
- Seeking Support:
- Share your intentions and struggles with trusted individuals, such as a therapist or supportive friends.
- Ask for feedback or encouragement as you experiment with agency in new areas.
In a nutshell…
Vigilance and indecision can serve as protective responses after trauma or loss, but they may limit your sense of fulfillment and connection. Building agency involves recognizing your own capacity for choice, tolerating emotional discomfort, and taking action aligned with your values. Progress may be gradual; each step you take toward agency is a meaningful part of your healing and growth.
If you notice persistent distress or difficulty, discuss these experiences with your clinician. Further exploration and support can help you navigate the balance between self-protection and self-expression.
(c) Dr. Joachim Sehrbrock