The Problem (Fusion)
Any form of distress is often accompanied by negative thoughts (e.g., “I want to stop feeling so bad”). That’s what our mind does, because it is what our mind is programmed to do.
Research suggests what makes distress worse is that we usually react to these negative thoughts as if they are completely true. We call this fusion (as in: we are fused with our thoughts). The problem with fusion is that we become so stuck in our thoughts that we miss out on the world around us and we typically start behaving in ways that are not consistent with our values. We can think about this in terms of the difference between being on a train versus watching a train. When we are on a train (of thoughts), we are fused with them, taken for a ride into a direction we may not want to go.
How to Work with Thoughts Differently (Defusion)
When we recognize that we are fused with our thoughts, we instantly have a bit of space from them so that we can recognize “Oh, it’s just a train of thoughts and not reality!” When we can watch (a train of) thoughts, this is called defusion. Once we defuse from our thoughts, we recognize that they are just words in our heads, which may or may not be true, and that we don’t automatically have to believe them.
Important! The goal of defusion is to be able to make choices consistent with our values, despite experiencing disturbing or distressing thoughts.
How to Practice Defusion
- What is your mind telling you about X [what you are stressed about]?
- Are the thoughts helpful in creating the life you want? If yes, pay attention to it. If not, defuse it.
- Use a defusion strategy. Remember, this is not about getting rid of thoughts, but to simply recognize them as words in our head. Once you defuse from a train of thoughts, you can just watch it go by and channel your attention and energy into doing something different, namely in a direction that you value.
- Then focus on what you actually value in your life. You can ask yourself,”Even if I think that…, what do I value right now?”
Defusion Strategies
“I am having a thought…” or “I notice I am having a thought”: One of the most effective ways to recognize that thoughts are just thoughts (and to not take our thoughts so seriously) is to simply put a phrase in front of a particular thought. This can be either “I am having a thought that…” or “I notice I am having a thought that…” Again, we are not trying to get rid of thoughts, but do what is important to us, even though we have difficult thoughts.
Name your stories: Anytime you feel stressed, anxious, or depressed, ask yourself “What story is my mind telling me?” Once you have identified it, simply name it, and let it be there. You don’t have to challenge it or push it away. For example, if you notice feeling down and thoughts like “I am not good enough” or “I am stupid” say to yourself: “Ah, here is the ‘I’m a failure’ story.”
More Cognitive Defusion Strategies